You will not kill him while I am alive
by sucking up to a pickle
Summary: You think Ginny didn't fight in book 2? Ah, you were mistaken. See what happened before and a bit after Ginny got drained by Voldemort. Through Ginnny's eyes. Also, summary of Ginny's years and soon a story. UPDATED
1. Shame

AN: okay, people, here's what happened before Harry got to the Chamber in book 2. I am a Ginny fanatic, as you can see.  
  
Disclaimer: Oh, come one, I own nothing but the lines. K? Yeah, but I'm not worried about people suing me, considering they won't be able to find out who I am.  
  
Okay, we'll start with going down to the chamber.  
  
I fought. I really did. I always do. But he got me. I'd been holding him back, but I just felt so neglected and sad, and I- I let my guard down.  
  
I knew that everything was my fault, and that I deserve to die, and he took me. I fought on the way. I fought myself from speaking parseltongue, I wanted to scream.  
  
But I, weak and dumb as I am, couldn't keep him from my head.  
  
And it's my fault. I should have been able to fight, to block out my feelings and keep my wall up. But no, weak, pathetic Ginny couldn't even control her own mind.  
  
And down into the Chamber I went, fighting, but losing.  
  
Once I was there, I saw the journal. And he was with it. Tom Riddle. I screamed. He smiled.  
  
"Harry will come. Bring him to me. Go up, do what you need to, and bring him to me. I fought.  
  
I would not betray Harry.  
  
"NO!" I shouted. "Go!" Riddle commanded. "I will not betray him." I insisted. Riddle laughed. "Then I hall do something that will bring him down." He replied. He pointed his wand at me. I felt my life draining. I clung to it, resisted him. I would not let Harry be killed. "No! You can't take him! Don't take Harry! I won't let you take...him..." I felt myself go, my vision leaving. "No...Harry...no...don't..." And I felt him feed off of me.  
  
Because I was too weak to defend myself.  
  
When I woke, and Dumbledore told me what had happened, I cried. I'm sure everyone thought I was scared.  
  
I was ashamed.  
  
Harry had risked his life for me. I should have fought. I should not have let Riddle bring him down.  
  
It was my fault.  
  
I shall never forgive myself. I was too weak to protect myself.  
  
Everyone says it was not my fault, that no one save Dumbledore and Harry could resist Voldemort.  
  
But I should have! I should have made myself!  
  
And so I will be, forever waiting for redemption. I will fight Voldemort. Last year was a start, but I have sworn to myself that I will not let Harry die. No matter what, I will not let him die unless I lay in front of him dead as well.  
  
If I have to block every curse with my own body, Harry Potter will not die while I am alive. 


	2. Blind

A/N: Hi again! I am SOOOOOOOOO sorry it took forever! I was so busy, and then I forgot, then I chacked my email and I decided to do this story. A reviewer named Luna Lovegood 2 inspired me! So I have dedicated my story to her.

To LunaLovegood2!

P.S. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY BLIND.

Disclaimer: If I cared, you'd know. Yeah. Its not my characters. Rub it in, why dontcha??

Chapter 2----------------------------------Blind People

And now: my second year, a summary, anyway.

When I was on the train that day, they came. My worst fear. I never knew. It was horrible! It was cold. It was like I'd never be happy again. I saw Vol—Tom Riddle. It was when he was laughing as he drained me.

It was dementors.

That's when I went out.

When I came to, Everyone was crowded around an unconscious Harry. They never noticed that I too had slipped into the darkest well there is - death. I crawled into fetal position and tears ran down my face. I looked away, ashamed at my never ending weakness. I didn't see Harry crying!

Why can't I be storng, like him?

Why can't he, in turn, see that if he hadn't lived that night Voldemort attacked and killed his parents, they would have been killed by him later anyway, and that he would have taken over and enslaved us all?

Why can't my brothers see that I'd rather die than see them die for me? That I want to live my life independently, or I will never become strong like Harry Potter?

Why can't my mother see that I will grow up regardless of how long she tries to stuff me back into cribs, diapers, and bottles?

Why can't Voldemort see that once he takes over the world he'll have some 50 death eaters and nothing else? That his plans are shortended, that he has a goal that will get him nothing?

But I know. It's because they really know these things. They are just too caught up in them that they can't see what their getting into.

One thing is sure, though. These people so blind, they are stronger than I am. So should we learn from each other?

The new DADA professor wakes me from my trance. No I don't want a chocolate frog! Oh, wait, never mind, that's honey dukes. Sure, I'll take it!

When I get into school, I realize I have no friends. That last year all I had was Colin Creevey, and after he was petrified.....never mind, he probably hates me now. But he comes and sits with me. Aren't you mad? I ask. He shakes his head. I grin. My year is lloking up.

Ron was attacked! By Sirius Black. Now that I know he can get into Hogwarts, the one place that I thought that I- and Harry- could be safe. I watch Harry closely now. Sirius Black won't get him, not on my watch!!

I followed them. They went to Hagrid's in an invisibility cloak. Buckbeak, my favorite hippogriff, was gonna die! I had helped Hagris and Hermione make a case for the trial, and in return, Hermione didn't tell Ron that I rode the hippogriff daily. She also didn't tell Harry, who would've told Ron. I crawled into their little tunnel, wanting to be there for Ron, who I think just broke his leg. Then I decided I would not be wanted.

But later that evening, I walked out just in time to see Harry cast a spell and drive the dementors (aaaah!) away from two people on the ground. I gasped in shock. The two people across the lake were---- Hermione and Harry! (Of course later I demanded that hermione tell me about the clones. She told me about her time turner! And that Sirius Black is innocent, and all about his relevance to Harry. She demanded I tell her why I followed them. After I told I burst into a tearful explanation about how useless and weak I am. She hugged me and cried herself.)


	3. Letter

A/N- That took a long time to type, that last chapter, So you better read it, LunaLovegood2!! And I want reviews.

Disclaimer: Need I bother? Plot of chapter mostly belongs to JKR and the characters, too. Blah blah blah blah.

Chapter 3----------------------------------------Ignorance

And a summary of my third year!

At the quidditch cup, I told Hermione that I wouldn't follow them, because I had realized that in doing that I was doing to him what I most hated people doing to me- being over protective. She was very proud of me. And the tournament was waaay cool!

When Harry's name came out of that Goblet, I was horrified. One look at his face and you could tell he was too. Poor thing. I was scared too. What if he died? What if I couldn't save him? But I knew that I couldn't follow him around again. I realized that it was invading his privacy, as well as wasting my own time. I would have to let him go this year.

WHAT!!??!!??!!?? DRAGONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had Fred hold my wand so that I could avoid either killing Ludo Bagman or hurting the dragon and ruining Harry's turn. Not to mention embarrassing myself and him! So I held back.

When Harry opened that egg, I knew immediately. Mermaids. Not banshees, as someone suggested, because if it were banshees, the screaming would be slightly hypnotizing, and we'd all be depressed. But I didn't tell him, because that would be cheating, something that I am quite above. I don't think he'd appreciate it anyway. He'd probably be thinking "What do you know, you were dumb enough to write in that diary!" anyway. Besides, He's no baby, I was sure he would figure it out.

By the time the second task came round, I had thought of a dozen or so ways to do this task. I knew the task because when Ron disappeared, I stood outside Professor McGonogall's office, pacing and freaking out about my brother, until she came out and told me the task, and that I shouldn't worry because even if Harry couldn't save him, Dumbledore wouldn't let him die.

Harry had Gillyweed, the one I thought no one would have because it's so hard to come by, and if anyone did it would be Krum, from Durmstrang, which did a lot of potions. I wondered where he had gotten it.

But he was heroic and got Gabrielle, Fleur's sister, as well. This was so heroic that it almost got him in the lead. He was tied, I think. (A/N- I'm not quite sure--- was he in the lead or tied with Cedric?) With Diggory.

I almost Forgot about the Yule Ball! Neville, who had become somewhat of a friend to me, got turned down by Hermione, so I agreed to go with him, poor thing. It's not like the person I wanted to go with would take me.

Then he and Ron were desperate for dates, So Ron, assuming I had no social life, volunteered me to go with Harry. I Told them that I was going with Neville, though, huffily because of what they had assumed. Was I really that alone? Did I really look pathetic in my brother's eyes? In Harry's?

Sadly, I had sore toes for 2 weeks.

At the third task, I was sitting right next to Cho Chang. I held her as she cried. I felt her pain. She held onto me like a three year old child to its mother. I knew that even if I told her she'd be okay, she wouldn't. And that's how Cho Chang became my friend.

I knew Harry would never tell me what had gone on wherever he had gone. But I wrote him a note anyway, just never sent it. I knew the day would come when I would gather my courage and send him that letter, right when he needed it most. Little did I know that the day would come sooner than I thought.

Dear Harry----- I know you don't really think of me as a friend, but I want you to know that if there's no one else, I'll be here, even if it's to vent at. Even if it's just to cry. I won't laugh, I won't tell you you're being silly, because you're not. You're not silly, you're hurt. You've been hurt, Harry Potter, so you cry. You just cry and cry like The sky is falling. Because it is. The sky is falling, the walls are caving, and no one will ever understand. Because no matter how many times they say it's not your fault, you just know it was. I know it won't help, but it's really not your fault. However, my saying so is pointless. So cry, and when you run out of tears, stand up and face your fears. That's all you can do.

Love,

Your sister

P.S. When your throat hurts, I recommend boiling water with a teaspoon of honey, and make sure you eat some skinned-SKINNED, mind- cucumber slices. (A/N-yes, that really does help.)

A/N-

The next one will be more interesting. Then after that the real story starts, because that's where JKR left off. When the 6th book comes out, I might kill it and write a 5th year summary, then a seventh year story that probably has much the same plot, unless said plot is contradicted by book 6. So review if you ever want to get to the story!!


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